February 9th, 2021
If you have ever went for a swim in the ocean, you will understand the force of water. The unpredictability of it. It may soothe you with its gentle waves or may form a rip tide to smash you into the rocks. It may bubble up joy and delight as you play in the big waves or spin you around and shake you senseless. It’s because of this risky unpredictability that feelings have been thought to be ‘bad’ for so long. Heal your connection to your feelings. I cannot stress how integral it is for being You. For within your feelings lie your connection to your will – the ability to make choices that feel right for you.
Oh yes, empaths. Sometimes you feel so much of others’ kaka that it’s difficult for you to discern what is yours and what is theirs. It just all becomes your overwhelming experience. Work on clear boundaries with your presence. Your body is sacred. Understand your heightened sensitivity is not a ‘cross to bear’. You are not oppressed, or the only one. Your body is simply sharing the magnificence of your bodily presence. Find work and social settings that allow for less need to be bombarded by multiple energies. Stop people pleasing. Discover in stating your boundaries, how you can then allow your heightened sensation capacity to work for you. Plus, know that emotional processing will be a regular practice for you. Find ways to make it a part of your routine.
Think of when something drops in water. It ripples out and affects the whole body of water. This is when emotions get layered on top of emotions, and then surface in the oddest or what seems least related/connected of circumstances. Your frustration of not being heard in your new job once processed, leads to tears and grief of not being truly seen for decades, then moves to your lack of connection to your ‘worth’, then your apathy to the wound of disconnect from your divinity. It’s all connected.
Start with what surfaces when you are faced with making choices in relationships, work, or more. For when you process emotions regularly, you will then be able to communicate your feelings with compassion. Less opinions shared and more on how things make you feel. This can lead to new boundaries or even endings, for one of the possibilities when sharing your truth is that you allow the other person to also share theirs. That communication may lead to endings. Process the fears around endings, letting someone or something go. Then when you feel more capable, go forth and communicate. Give space and time and less pressure in the need to communicate. Know mistakes or fumbles will be made.
It’s hard to speak up and share your feelings. Especially if the abuse received over years was emotional. There are many people out there that I have connected with that still cannot admit they have received abuse by another, for that person they cared about or still care about. One of the longest abusive relationships I had in my life, was one that was emotionally abusive, one that was truly the cycle of empath-narcissist. It is debilitating to be made to question the validity of your feelings for over a decade. The damage it did took cycles of healing, and each one with deep emotional sounding. I continue to work on sharing my truth and being fully comfortable in communicating my feelings. We are all in process.
Once I faced my emotional wounds, I then had to also acknowledge how Spirit surfaced cycles within my life again and again until I had the strength to face them. I had to face the abandonment, the abuse, the assaults and the overall distrust of others. I had to face the numerous times I was a victim. I had to then face the many times I then became the aggressor. I had to step out of the polarity and reflect on both and the in-between. Facing does not mean reliving. That is the beauty of emotional release. You will over time see that those traumas don’t have the same emotional response in your being.
The harm of the oppressor/oppressed cycle will surface as emotions arise to process and to release. The fear of becoming the other keeps us in a cycle of harm within our emotional body and our feminine energetic being. It also keeps us silent with our stories. It makes us feel we are worse than, or better than another. It makes us compare our wounds with others and makes us feel shame or guilt in sharing our story. It keeps us alone and not asking for help. The system was designed to keep you in it.
To heal the feminine, we must face the toxic. The potential harm and violence of suppressing the feminine energy within us and around us. We must gently look at our inner oppressor in the empath, victim and martyr cycles. It is as if our body has created blockades within us to ensure we keep feeling the same response to stimuli. This is deep emotional work. Start with what first surfaces, allow yourself to do this release work within the healing cycle. Honour the times for rest & integration that follow great release. Then allow some time for growth and fullness once more. Give space between releases to do it in a way that can be sustainable for your well-being.
Sometimes when you go too deep too quickly (consumptive in energy), the magnetism that comes from emotional release can allow in ancestral pain/rage that is too much for you to process. It can even invite toxicity/parasitic entities to attach to you and inhibit your growth. If this paragraph brings up an uncomfortable physical response, please connect with me. This is not to bring in more fear, this is for you to remember that responsibility is required when doing any of this work, as well as clear boundaries. Take it slow, there is no need to rush. Urgency will create desires that may be satiated by wolves in sheep’s clothing.
This may seem like an immense undertaking! Our energy body is designed to process it all, to feel it all and to heal. We can heal. We are healing. If ever during the emotional waves you need to sound, first process privately. Then if you feel stuck or uncertain, know that I am here to help. This is my life’s work, to be here, judgement-free, to help you when asked.
Homework is to practice your emotional processing techniques, which are also shared in a 4-part video course accessible upon signing up for my email list (linked on my home page). Process what emotions surface with the sounding technique shared in this chapter. Get in water. Hydrate. Shake it out. Move your body and dance. Check in on what is resonant as you heal. Let go of the analysis and allow yourself to simply feel. It’s time to let your energy MOVE.