April 4th, 2022
This date 04/04 – I remember 2 years ago, 2 weeks into isolation in 2020, this was a beginning of the energy of the 4-petaled rose, the energy of 2 converging, uniting symbols of infinity, sharing the feminine principle of energy in sacred union with our masculine principle of energy. It initiated a deep step into the fire, an immense incubation that feels like it took another 2 years to fully move through the immense pains and traumas experienced in body and earth’s blood and bones. During this deep step IN to what I had to face, I am grateful that even in the most isolate moments, earth, body, and spirit kept sharing, ‘you are not alone, but you are healing the shadow of that ~ facing what has separated and denied connections within Love-ing self, body, spirit, earth, and each other.’
It asked me to heal the inner critic, judge, and warrior found within. To sit with and face fears and ego. It shared with me the depths of oppressive cycles that have inter-played between moving in spaces through times. In the throes and woes of facing the internalized grief, terror, rage, and more, there were times in the unraveling that form truly felt the cocoon-like Goo of the transmutative processes. As my ancestors wrapped plants and earth around me, as angels frolicked in the mists of difficulty, I slowly moved further IN. In to what? You may ask? Where do we Go IN?
Into Love. Into all that is protected, contained, and carried in center. There are shadows, heavy, light, and more, all within Love.
How has Love become a bad word? How has it lost it’s meaning? Is it because in our quest for comprehending this power that we all possess, we have over-defined it? In our journey to discover more of it, have we divined what is in Love and what is not in Love? Is it because if it was affirmed that Love is IN us, that it would ask for a greater responsibility to Love self, body, earth, spirit, and each other? Is it because we didn’t know how that would look like, since the tools/skills we thought we gathered in past times tended to harm us or others unnecessarily? Like as if Love-ing others asked for you to love less of self? As if love-ing more asked for us to forego our body’s sensations and compassionate NO’s? AS if Love is only found in YES and no boundaries?
Whew. There is lots to disperse and unravel in Love, of Love, with Love. And when we can’t see it, when our previous patterns of pain and suffering, self-doubts, ego, etc. etc. make it feel like we are just walking in a stew of discontent/disconnect to _________ (fill in the blank), it can feel so vulnerable to then ask for help, to seek support, and honour where our resilience/fortitude/coping of yesteryear ends. I share gratitude to my Body, Spirit, and Soul for supporting me in those immensely transformational years. I also share gratitude to You, for us connecting and remembering at times that Love is In.
Thank you to those who chose to step into the container at times together, to traverse amongst the fossilized rubble, debris, and the golden within. In the private journeys Spirit shared for me to proffer, it blew me away how however we step in 2 Love in, be it the readiness for an intimate relationship, and/or the curiosity of what is loving in relations to self, spirit, and others, that Love Experienced in Action&/Inaction Healed. But healing, starts sometimes with dispersion, dissimilation, and disruption. Hence the shadows at times ask for more support. (back to the “you are not alone…”)
Love is. Love in Self, Love in Spirit, Love in Earth, Love in each other. But our bodies are all so uniquely carrying different mixtures of what made us deny it, distrust it, or disbelieve it. Our bodies and ancient braids through times all ask for our own paces in. Isn’t it beautiful that pace is in patience? Asking for us to carry compassion for our pace, as well as the different paces experienced of each other? Part of me healing patiently with self and others, was to support consent and personal agency. We cannot force change, yes? Change asks for sensory preparedness, and space and time.
I had to learn that even the Call for change that can be felt within me, you, and we, did not have to be answered right away (like a text message or a work email). The urgency and pressures that we were unravelling were on all planes, even in our responsiveness to the deep work of relationship to. It asked for simplicity. A commitment to care, a growing capacity for response-ability and compassion for our intersectional identities rotating and moving between worlds of internal/external dimensions of awareness. Woah. No wonder we are feeling and experiencing so much, yes?
So on this day, I share with you Love. I share with you what came from that gestational period. You want love? Love IN. Love is in actions, in words, in movements, in all seen and unseen. Being more loving, becoming more loving, or opening to more loving, asks for us to consent from center. To commit to caring for our internal equilibrium while honouring our current capacity and limits. Honouring that mistakes will be made, but humbly moving into further alchemy and choosing new patterns when ready.
What I share in private or group work comes from this center. My forwards (4) motion (what did we use to call it? Mission? Purpose? Drive? Intention?) is to Be in Love in. Yes, it shares big shadows at times, but it also brings forth the Salve to the cracks, crevices, and fissures of our bodies. A Salve that spreads beyond the disconnects, further integrating possible pathways to travel into your roots, into our earth, into further reciprocal relations with. It asks for us to look at what we want from another, and look at how we can mirror and/or surface that also within self. It asks for greater communication skills, capacity to share boundaries, and is immense work that I have felt ripple through all my inter-relations, in work, in family, in friends, in body, in earth, gah! So much.
I have been guided to prepare for this new cycle. But, yes, there is still discomfort in this new. Please know what I share now is not to pressure you to act now, but for you to ease into what your Body and Being are curious, interested, or even skeptical about this opportunity for greater union within, which can then over time be emulated without. I am opening 2 more spots for private Love journeys this season. Private work with me does require for you to initiate the ask, so you are welcome to book some time to consult further of this loving medicine.
I am also opening a container for what has been shared in these private journeys, in a small group this upcoming New Moon, April 30. Slow pace through, gentle explorations of, Be in(g) Love in(g). If your capacity to do private work (depth, finances, commitment, etc) feels “icky”, but there is interest in more Love for who you Be, who you are Becoming, and opening to receive more of Love, then this may be a container that can support you. Curious? Please email for further details.
So much Love as we move forwards towards more Love in our Being, in who we are Becoming, and how we open & shine.